PDF No, Really, Where Are You From?

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When I was in my early 20s and broke as a joke, often deciding between buying a subway card and eating dinner, do you know how many plays I wrote? If you are a person who needs stability to create, a day job might be the best option, especially if you lack a financial safety net from your family. Once you start working a day job, you can use the structured schedule to your advantage if you are willing to make it work.

Leah Nanako Winkler worked a day job as an assistant among other jobs for many years before finding success in writing for theatre and TV. She wrote and produced many of her own plays before her first Off-Broadway production at Ensemble Studio Theater in How did she find the time? She was up with the birds. And at night I would go to rehearsal, because I was mostly self-producing downtown and made my own rehearsal schedule.

Instead I get up, get out, and settle in somewhere near my job location. Writing becomes part of my workday, as opposed to something optional I try to squeeze into my lunch break or evening.

As an administrator in higher education, Nicole Pandolfo , who was recently produced at Premiere Stages in New Jersey, says she uses her commute to get it done. Do what you can, when you can. It adds up. There are a lot of benefits to working a full-time job. Not only do you get paid time off, health insurance, and a living wage, but you also get to meet different kinds of people from different backgrounds. I love leading a team. Tim Errickson , an executive assistant at a specialty food company and the artistic director of Boomerang Theater Company, agrees that working with people outside of theatre is an asset.

There are other perks besides the people you work with. Many offices are generous with their employees, letting them run copies of scripts or allowing them to use conference rooms after hours. This can be a godsend for low-cost or no-cost spaces to run table reads, rehearsals, and even auditions! Having a day job can also give you valuable tools you can apply to your theatre career. My administrative background has helped me in nearly everything I do in my playwriting career and running my own theatre company. I can organize events, create elaborate submission tracking spreadsheets, make websites, send mass emails, and update my website.

Creative thinking is an asset, not a liability. Another huge benefit: If you make a decent living, you may have disposable income, and that can be used to fund aspects of your playwriting career. When I was working as an admin in finance, I was able to use some of that money to partially produce one of my own plays. During my last workshop, I was able to afford a few hours of rehearsal space and buy pizza for my actors.

We may not be able to provide a living wage, but we can make sure the people giving us their precious time are well fed. It is my wish that anyone seeking a theatre degree would be required to take a basic finance class.


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Too many students graduate without the slightest clue of basics like the difference between a mutual fund and a stock, or a general understanding of how to manage expenses and work within a budget. One of the big questions I get from people who learn that I am a playwright with a full-time job: How do you find the energy? I have to admit it was much easier 10 years ago than it is now. I do not have the stamina I did in my 20s, and I find myself craving more space to write, spend time with friends and family, and simply recharge.

There is a lot to be said for getting a financial leg up when you are young, healthy, and eager.

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There has not been a lot of rest in general, which was easier to get by without in my 20s. But now if I do not prioritize rest, I will not have full access to my creative well. I have learned the hard way that self-care is essential when you are feeling overtired and burned out. If you do not listen to your body and learn your own limits, it can easily lead to mental health issues, substance abuse, and serious illness.

If your insurance covers it or you can fund an FSA Flexible Spending Account, also a pre-tax contribution for medical expenses , a good therapist is a fantastic investment. And above all: Protect your sleep.

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I recently started meditating using the Headspace app, and it has made a huge difference. Taking 10 minutes out of my day to focus, breathe, and calm down has reduced my anxiety and stress enormously, and has improved the quality of my sleep. I find that reading a book before hitting the hay instead of watching television or surfing the internet is also a good way to wind down.

Playwrights with day jobs face other challenges as well. Some of the most competitive and prestigious playwriting residencies and festivals require participants to be in residence for an entire month, if not more. Some of these residencies pay a stipend, but some do not. Some pay for housing and travel, while some expect you to foot your own plane ticket. Kimball bemoans the dilemma of playwrights who are forced to choose between taking an out-of-town gig and putting food on the table, even if you are able to telecommute.

No one talks about how unsustainable this is. And though processing is necessary at times, too much processing cuts into our productivity and becomes a cost of relationship; sometimes an overwhelming cost that increases the chance of a breakup. Here are a few simple tips I try to keep in mind:.

Is there any way to make our relationship better? Recently i asked my girl friend does she love me. Then our relationship went in a bad way. I feel for you.

Where are you really from?

It can hurt so much when something changes and instead of charming your partner with everything you say, you can't find a thing to say that doesn't bother your partner, and you're eager to find something that will make things better. I've been there. And sometimes I have computer problems that make it impossible for me to get things done. My computer was cooperating with me, and suddenly everything I do doesn't work.

With computer problems, I can usually go on line and find the solution or I can call IT, describe what's not working and get a formula for fixing it. I wish we could do the same when our love lives malfunction. A lot of us do, which is why so many articles here have titles that promise a formula for solving a psychological problem.

But I would need to know a lot more about your situation before suggesting something and anything I suggest could backfire. I find that very interesting. There's a big difference between fixing computers and fixing relationships. Put yourself in your partner's shoes, which means really distancing yourself from your heart's yearning to get your partner back. In business, love and science, to get what you want you have to set aside what you want long enough to see what is. Then, better informed you'll be better able to get what you want.

You want your partner to love you? You have to set that yearning aside to see what's really going on with your partner.

https://inerpakana.ml Once you know, you'll have a better change of appealing to your partner. Not a surefire formula. For example you might figure out that your partner really really is over you and no quantity of effort by you will win your partner back.

And it’s actually a huge relief

That is a possibility. But if there's any opening whereby you could rekindle your relationship, you're most likely to find it if you can quiet your own yearning and really imagine what it's like for your partner now. In practice that means giving your partner time and space free from your yearning. It means asking questions out of authentic curiosity that carry none of the weight of your yearning.

It means listening to the answers and even paraphrasing them back to your partner neutrally, or as if you were your partner's lawyer making your partner's case. It means staying absolutely clear of any signs of shaming or blaming your partner for their feelings. I should say that I have lots of experience failing to be able to do what I suggest. My hurt and panic can be so strong that I can't find my way back to simple curiosity about what my partner needs. I think one thing that can help is meditating on the possibility that it's really over.

Like my 10th suggestion in the article.


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  • Ultimately we can't force love. And if your question gave your partner an opening to say what's really going on, and if what's really going on is that your partner is truly ready to move on what can you do? Make a life without your partner. If you can't face that possibility it will be impossible to listen openly to where your partner really is. But if you can listen, maybe you'll figure out that there's actually something you can do, maybe even something simple that warms things back up.

    I guess in a way it's like asking the computer "What's bugging you, because maybe I can help? I agree that this is very difficult to do, but I believe it's the only way to truly salvage a relationship when it gets to its potentially final stage. Not everything is in your control. It requires great self-esteem and self-confidence not narcissism.

    And it’s actually a huge relief

    Once you have mastered this, you can't lose in life! Your happiness isn't dependent on anyone but yourself. When I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment.